The First Officer gaped in awe as the impossible shape floated slowly accross the ship's viewscreen silhouetted against the bright, full moon. "Captain, I think you'd better get up here," he urged.
     "What is it Number One?"
     "Let's just say a UFW!"
     "Don't you mean UFO?"
     "No, Captain, UFW...W...as in witch!"
     Captain Picard glanced at his bedside table. Midnight, October 31st. "This isn't the first of April Number One, it's Halloween. Let the man sleep will you?" William Riker, his eyes riveted on the screen, insisted: "I know how it sounds Captain. But I'm not joking. Riker out."
     While pacing the hallways in a mayhem of thoughts, Picard reached three possible theories. First; his executive officer was playing a bad joke on him. It sounded like the most probable explanation since most of his crew was enjoying shore leave on Earth. Second ; this was another of Q's burlesque ideas and he had had just about enough of him! It better not be Q or he'll have a hard time keeping himself in check. And third; there really was something spooky out the window.
     The turbolift doors opened on a candlelit bridge. Bats were swirling underneath the ceiling. Behind her security console, Tasha Yar was tied to a pole in a farmer's garment, straw coming out of her outstretched arms. "What the..." exclaimed Picard bemused. Tasha slowly turned her head toward the captain and croaked an indecipherable warning as blood was gushing out of her mouth. Farther back was the motionless form of Wil Riker, frozen into a running stance, a terrified look on his pale features.
     Coming up the ramp in his direction, the living-dead body of Wesley Crusher was slowly closing in on him with a: "RRRRAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHH.... RAAARRRGH!.... RAAAGGGHHH!" Picard picked up his phaser and fired a stunning shot at Wes, who kept on "RRAAAAGGHHHING" toward him. The captain made a few steps back and readjusted the phaser setting to kill. Wesley was now within an arm's reach of Jean-Luc when the latter aimed for the head. "SHUT UP WESLEY!" he yelled before the acting ensign's head blew up against the bulkhead. Picard strode over the zombie and headed down the ramp.
     Sitting at ops was a scalped android whose matrix jutted out. His fingers were jumping over the controls in a bleeping melody to accompany his words:
"In the grave yard,
In the grave yard,
When the moon begins to shine,
There's a doctor, crazy doctor,
and his monster Frankenstein..."*
     "Data report!" oredered the captain. But the android acted like Picard wasn't even there. "No! Leave me alone!" pleaded Deanna Troi from her counselor's chair. Deanna gazed at the emptiness before her in an agonizing expression. Picard reached out to her. "Deanna, what's happening?!" he inquired, kneeling next to her. "Pain! Horrible pain!" she voiced with crisped muscles, still staring in the void. "Deanna... Deanna look at me!" The counselor suddenly stepped out of her drowsiness and blinked at the captain with terror-stricken eyes. "Get out... GET OUT!... She's coming!" screamed Deanna, overcome by fear. "Who's coming?" asked Picard. "My... My... MY MOTHER!"
     "NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" overreacted Picard, his hands stretched upward in an overly dramatic movement. "This thing of darkness..."** quoted Picard from Shakespeare literature. "O Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"** echoed the witch's voice on the bridge. Lwaxana Troi materialized in a sparkling beam of light. She was wearing an elaborate 16th century dress with shiny jewelry. "O my dear Jean-Luc how I've missed you! How could you survive without me by your side darling?" The captain stood up. "All that glisters is not gold.** What did you do to my crew?!" "Well, since they weren't very hospitable to my coming here, I turned them as inhospitable as I could! But don't worry, I have something much cuter in mind for you!"
     Picard didn't wait to be transformed into a toad. He took his heels and ran off. An evil laugh resonated inside his mind. "Whether you stride or drive, there's no place to hide." mocked Lwaxana shadowing the captain like a ghost, passing through the ship's floors and walls in an unfair pursuit. Still the captain ran for his life. "Johnny Johnny... You're making me edgy!" rattled the witch. "With a clip and a clap, I'll make you fall into a trap." Upon these words, the floor gave way in front of Picard, forcing him to stop abruptly. The captain spun around, looked at the boastful Lwaxana, turned his head back at the endless pit... and jumped.
     Jean-Luc woke up in his quarters. He glanced at his bedside table. Midnight, October 31st. "Captain, I think you'd better get up here," urged William Riker over the comm. "What is it Number One?" "Let's just say a UFW!"

* In the Graveyard song, unknown author
** Quotes from Shakespeare