The Captain said, "All stop! Reduce magnification factor to four!" The object was like nothing he or his crew had ever seen. "Sensor readings, Mister Ahn?"
     Commander Ahn replied, "Sir... it's... I don't know, while it does read solid I can't see what's inside."
     As the magnification reduced, all on the bridge could now fully see the object which had materialized right in front of their path. If it hadn't been for collision alarms they might have been shredded into atoms, by a huge wrapped box.
     "Does everyone else see an overgrown box, wrapped in shiny green Christmas paper, with a big red bow on top?" Captain Tanner asked.
     "Aye sir, it's a huge gift just hovering out there," Commander Ahn confirmed.
     "Oh good," the captain said with obvious relief, "I'm not having a holiday induced hallucination." He paused to reflect on his last three words. "Wow, try saying that three times fast. Speculations?"
     "You don't suppose it's the Borg?" Ensign Fox suggested.
     "Ensign, please tell me you don't believe the Borg would wrap themselves in Christmas paper?" Tanner asked the helmsman in astonishment.
     "Well it is cubed shaped, sir."
     "Not their style... other speculations... please?" the Captain begged.
     There was silence on the bridge. Tanner couldn't blame them. He couldn't recall any reports of Christmas presents popping out of nowhere in no-mans-land. He made his way to the security console.
     "Lieutenant B'Etta, is it possible to use the phasers to do a precise cut right along this, this and this seam," Tanner indicated with his hand the seams on the box as he talked.
     "Sir, you want to open the present!?" the Andorian security officer asked.
     "Well that's typically what presents are for."
     "Why not just tear into it with a few torpedoes?" Ahn asked then added. "Wait, you're not one who saves the wrapping paper are you?"
     Tanner took a deep breath then said in a defensive tone, "My wife makes me save the paper."
     The bridge broke out into suppressed giggles and stifled laughs.
     Tanner scratched the back of his head then looked around. "Keep laughing all you single people, one day y'all will truly understand the joys of the predicament of being married."
     "Not the way the last three women have dumped me," Ensign Fox muttered just loud enough for Tanner to hear.
     "That makes you the blessed one, Mr. Fox," Tanner turned to look at B'Etta again.
     "Sir, it could be a trap," B'Etta said returning them back to a serious mood.
     The captain nodded his head in agreement. "It very well could be Lieutenant, but we're out here to explore the unknown. How would our report to Starfleet look if we said 'Saw huge wrapped gift in the middle of space, but decided to leave well enough alone?' The Brass is going to want to know if it is indeed a Borg cube joyfully wrapped for our destruction."
     "I thought you said it couldn't be a Borg cube?" Fox asked with confusion.
     Tanner dropped his head in frustration. This from the naive guy who thought a Tribble was a medical doctor. He tried not to roll his eyes. "No, Ensign, I was just making a point, there are no Borg here."
     "I'm just saying the dimensions are close to the same..." he stopped short when he saw the Captain's doleful stare towards him. "Right, sir, no Borg cubes out here."
     "Glad that's settled. Commander Ahn, go to yellow alert; Ensign Fox get ready for evasive maneuver Gamma 6; Lieutenant B'Etta have a couple of photon torpedoes on standby just in case; keep all sensors recording and be ready for anything." He paused to take a breath and wait for the chorus of 'Aye sir' to echo back at him. "B'Etta if you would do the honors of opening the gift."
     With surgical precision, B'Etta made quick work of the box allowing it to fall open and reveal its content. At first there was nothing then a dazzling light show began. There was a fanfare of music, fireworks exploded, lights chased each other and twinkled. Then neon lights flashed the phrase, 'Happy Holidays from Online Starbase!" Then it suddenly all disappeared into silence.
     "Anyone know where this Online Starbase is?" Captain Tanner finally asked.
     "Coordinates were transmitted after the show, Captain, and the helmsman has laid in a course," Commander Ahn said.
     Tanner smiled, "Engage!"